Tuesday, November 24, 2009

My Sense Of Smell Is Pitiful To Say The Least, But I Still Thank God For What Little I Have And For How Much Each Whiff Means

Wandering through starry skies
And when tomorrow's day arrives
I'll be a moment closer to the
Brightest Hour here with you

One step closer, getting brighter
One step closer, getting brighter

Wandering through starry skies
And when tomorrow;s day arrives
I'll be a moment closer to the
Brightest Hour, here with you

The Submarines - Brightest Hour


Another one on loop. Oh let uni end already.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Still Be My Vision

Its funny.

The snippet from Lyin' Eyes by the Eagles I posted yesterday, the ones which I bolded had so much to do with today's message.

She wonders how it ever got this crazy
She thinks about a boy she knew in school
Did she get tired or did she just get lazy?
She's so far gone she feels just like a fool

Pastor Ashley really pulled out all the stops with his sermon today. I would say it was one of the most awesome sermons I've heard this year. He spoke about running diagnostics on ourselves to gauge where we were at. He warned about the danger of losing our vision and purpose in life.

He gave a brilliant analogy of a swimmer, how if you're stranded at sea with land in sight you really have two options. You either tread water or swim to shore. You can tread water, but if you do that, even if you're the best water treader in the world, sooner or later the water will overwhelm you. Or. Or you could swim to shore. Pastor Ashley said, once you set your eyes on reaching the shore and start swimming towards it, although there will be drag and resistance, you will eventually get there. That you will overcome these things and the challenges you face will pale in comparison to where you need to be.

His warning was sharp and straight to the point. That if we started to see warning signs in our lives that we were beginning to lose sight of our vision. He mentioned that if we ceased to receive direction and vision from up above, we'd start perishing. Which is a blunt reminder to us all, that the moment we start taking things for granted, the moment we start taking our eyes off the big picture things would start being difficult, that problems would magnify and resistance would increase, because we weren't moving anywhere. Because we could be just treading water.

He said one of the ways you'd know you were losing your vision is that going to church would start feeling difficult. I agree with that, but I think going to church can be the easiest thing in the world. But I guess, once you start dragging your feet to the house of God, you're in pretty bad shape already. Going to church can become such a habitual, such a brainless act you can probably walk into church on autopilot and when the worship begins, switch to spirituality mode without much thought and wash rinse repeat the whole cycle. Been there seen that done that.

I think decay begins a little closer to home. That when it becomes a chore to pick up your bible, when worship becomes a home karaoke experience, when talking to God ceases. One of the most dire components of Christian life, our walk with God is also the easiest thing to take for granted. I think the moment you get tired or get lazy of letting your First Love captivate you, just like the lyrics of Lyin' Eyes go, you've lost sight of it. And then one day you just realize how far gone you are.

That is the one thing, the one thing I devote all my strength to protect myself from. Taking for granted the things that matter to me most.

The thing about God's grace however is that, the walk home is never difficult. To be loved as only how God can love to me, is such a mysterious, powerful and overwhelming experience. That no matter how far we may stray, no matter how dim our vision gets, the moment we start moving back to God, He makes it, like only He can feel that it's as if we've never left at all.

I want to emulate that. Its been my quest this year, to love as God loves. I've written about it before, how I thought it was difficult, bordering impossible to love as God loves, and while I may never fully accomplish that, I can at least come close. And its been easy. I know what its like to be loved beyond all comprehension. I know what it feels like to be loved deeply. Through that I can come close.

Listenin' to : Tear Down The Walls by Hillsong

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Greetings From South Australia

that's from a postcard :D

I'm really glad I went through the extra readings, today's paper was a piece of cake. A delicious piece of delicious cake. It was kinda tricky and some questions made me almost throw a fit because some silly MCQs were almost too ambiguous to answer confidently, but yeah, it's all good.

Went to HQ yesterday night. Yes that's right, went to a club the night before my exam. This has officially dethroned the shooting pool at Asia Cafe till 3am the night before SPM. It was fun, had a good time although the club and the music played wasn't anything great. Reagan said its apparently one of the highest rated clubs in Aussieland, I didn't believe him, but I took two seconds to consider it, then I believed him.

Today I discovered something about my ex favourite song of all time. Discovered Fountains of Wayne when we were what, in Form3? Troubled Times shot to the top of my personal charts and its still in my top three. So yeah, I've always thought the line "Why do tomorrow, what you could never do" meant something along the lines of "why does tomorrow" or something close to that, but today I realized it meant what it meant read literally, that why do something tomorrow that you could never do. Then it hit me, the moroseness and apathy of that line. I've literally heard the song a hundred over times, its funny how I just realized this :S

Got my new(old) iPod. It's black. So this is the third white toy I've owned this year to be replaced by a black one. DS, ear phones and now iPod. I like my new iPod(it has better skipping speed) but the click wheel is rubbish. Oh well, will have to get used to it. Totting around my whole music library never felt better.

Study soundtrack has been the likes of Don Henley, The Eagles, CCR and The Doobie Brothers. I had to stop the Taylor Swift sometime. Super awesome, Lyin' Eyes is such an amazing sad sad sad song.

City girls just seem to find out early
How to open doors with just a smile
A rich old man
And she won't have to worry
She'll dress up all in lace and go in style

Late at night a big old house gets lonely
I guess ev'ry form of refuge has its price
And it breaks her heart to think her love is
Only given to a man with hands as cold as ice

So she tells him she must go out for the evening
To comfort an old friend who's feelin' down
But he knows where she's goin' as she's leavin'
She is headed for the cheatin' side of town

You can't hide your lyin' eyes
And your smile is a thin disguise
I thought by now you'd realize
There ain't no way to hide your lyin eyes

On the other side of town a boy is waiting
with fiery eyes and dreams no one could steal
She drives on through the night anticipating
'Cause he makes her feel the way she used to feel

She rushes to his arms,
They fall together
She whispers that it's only for awhile
She swears that soon she'll be comin' back forever
She pulls away and leaves him with a smile

You can't hide your lyin' eyes
And your smile is a thin disguise
I thought by now you'd realize
There ain't no way to hide you lyin' eyes

She gets up and pours herself a strong one
And stares out at the stars up in the sky
Another night, it's gonna be a long one
She draws the shade and hangs her head to cry

She wonders how it ever got this crazy
She thinks about a boy she knew in school
Did she get tired or did she just get lazy?
She's so far gone she feels just like a fool

My, oh my, you sure know how to arrange things
You set it up so well, so carefully
Ain't it funny how your new life didn't change things
You're still the same old girl you used to be

You can't hide your lyin eyes
And your smile is a thin disguise
I thought by now you'd realize
There ain't no way to hide your lyin' eyes
There ain't no way to hide your lyin' eyes
Honey, you can't hide your lyin' eyes


Listenin' to : Harry Connick Jr Jazz

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

The stats don't lie.

3500 words, 3 days, 1 awesome study partner.

So yeah, I didn't manage to meet my earlier deadline of completing it in three days, but to be frank, I hardly started. Fast forward to this week, heat wave plus my favourite person in the world, I've managed to down my final assignment ever as a uni student in three days, just like I said.

There this group on Facebook which a lot of my friends have been joining, so it pops up on my news feed on a very frequent basis. Its called Malaysia belongs to Jesus! and to be frank, it is so full of douchebaggery that it ticks me off.

It follows a trend that I sometimes notice about how the church moves. Sometime it seems like Christianity is just like one of those get x number of members to join this biggest facebook group ever thing. Maybe thats just me.

Anyway, the whole site seems to be full of I'm sure, well-meaning people. But I think to someone that doesn't know Jesus, seems like a haven for religious fanaticism and exclusivity. To me, the group seems to describe the church's biggest obstacle in contemporary culture, being too full of themselves, out of touch with people, and just plain and simply uninviting.

Like all fanatical extremist religious circles online(key word: online) it has its fair share of inside information discussions and when there's the occasional visitor who is not part of this elite group of Amen Hallelujah Junkies and tries to bring up a debate about the legitimacy of claiming a country of 28 million inhabitants as belonging to Jesus, holy crap, can you say ONLINE RELIGIOUS DEBATE.

There are two reasons why ONLINE RELIGIOUS DEBATES never work out. Number one, the DEBATES always tend to occur in two extreme locations, either you're at the KKK's home website, or in a godless forum(read: 4chan), so you will be instantly overwhelmed by fanboys when trying to moot an alternative viewpoint or argument.

Number two, which is by far, the online evangelist's(and to a certain extent offline) most used weapon of mass conversion, which also happens to be the most suitable weapon for shooting yourself in the foot is the tried and true, age old, can never go wrong... "I am right, there is no other way other than my way because my way is best, because I say its best, thus you are wrong and thus the only logical thing for you to do is to yield to my superior knowledge and authority. And yes, you are wrong and will never be right".

While it is certainly a desirable trait to believe in the product you are trying to sell, forcing it down someone's throat is plain stupid.

Let me copy paste just one of the dissenting views that were swiftly culled and butchered by the righteous holy fire of holy retribution!!!!

Some dude asked.

To be honest, there's strength in numbers.
To be honest, 'others' have huge 'mindless and easily misguided' numbers. This (by naming a group "Malaysia belongs to Jesus!" is not a good way to bring this about, this will only make 'others' feel threatened, squirming in fear and do knee-jerk actions to our disadvantage. This is akin to punching them in the face and tell them you love them.

Think. I'm sure even Jesus did his reservations and arrangements for the donkey, the top floor, and food and the water to wash the feet before the last supper.

But this.. is nothing short of stupidity.
Not cool, not prudent.

This was what he got flamed with in return(btw, Christians make the best flamers in the world imho)

And this what what Not cool??? Not prudent??? So did all of Jerusalem brand Jesus. So did all of the Pharisees call Jesus, and His disciples. What were they??? Branded as 'rebels', 'insurgents', 'troublemakers'. From what I see, criticism and hatred from the world is an inevitable fact for Christians. We are not afraid of persecution. We are not afraid of mockery, and we ARE NOT GOING TO MAKE ANY CONCESSIONS ON OUR FAITH!!! CHRISTIANITY IS NOT JUST A RELIGION, IT IS A WAY OF LIFE, AND TO DEFEND MY PRINCIPLES HERE, IS TO DEFEND MY WAY OF LIFE!!! We will NOT alter this site's name!!! We will stand in faith!!!

and to add insult to injury, this was followed by

nothing short of stupidity eh,
well Jesus loves you

I can summarize the comment that was clearly abusing the caps lock button in one word. JIHAD.



Thomas and me were discussing this earlier this morning, and we came up with a fitting description of this whole thing.

The only difference between a Muslim Extremist and a Christian Extremist is foreskin.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

If being productive is being with you, then baby I don't want to waste another day

~ Waste Another Day by Brooke Fraser

Weather has been stupidly hot here. Thank goodness I have an air conditioning unit in my room, which has been used and abused with little reservation lately. Seriously, on my weather forecast page, I have Malaysian and local weather compared side by side, you know because sometimes I want to know whats going on back home and how the weather is and all... i just checked and Adelaide is currently 1 degree warmer than Malaysia. Madness.

The past two days have been incredibly and unbelievably productive. Well because the weather has been sweltering to the point that it feels like an inferno, Anne has taken refuge in my place because its cool and all. Yeah I know, common sense would tell you that having a significant other will just totally wreck any semblance of concentration and kill off what little productivity you have initially. Thank goodness for things that are counter-intuitive.

Its been really good, I'm 70% done with my finalest assignment ever. She's been going through her notes pretty well, so yeah, super productive. Surprisingly, way better than what I can do alone, and the downtime from poring over countless books and notes is an enjoyable affair as well. Helps that there is someone in my immediate vicinity that is hard at work, so there's that peer(or in this case, 3 years my senior) pressure at work, which hey, works like a charm.

I love swot vacs. The last swot was awesome, this one is shaping up to be pretty awesome as well :)

On... Sunday, my rock band got broken. My yellow drum pad suddenly went unresponsive when Audrey was rocking on them. Tried trouble shooting cause I thought it was the usual buggy software or wonky cables but it wasn't. So I diagnosed it as the wires in the drum pad somehow got disconnected, and with my tool box I took apart my drum kit. Took it apart and lo and behold my diagnosis was accurate, the wires had severed themselves due to the constant impact of the yellow pad(its the hi hat pad) which caused the wires to snap. I had to then perform an electrical bypass because some sections of the wires which was attached to the plastic were just condemned. Awesome stuff, having my KH skills being applied and after a few gruelling minutes skinning wires, reconnecting them and stuff, my Rock Band set was functional again. I felt so proud of myself after that for fixing it :D

Sunny tweeted in all caps, "HE WILL MAKE A WAY". I really want the job offer in Melbourne. I really want me and Anne to work out. He will make a way.

Listenin' to : Waste Another Day by Brooke Fraser

Friday, November 06, 2009

Great Expectations.

This is an excerpt from one of this week's devotion.

Why shouldn't we experience heartbreak? Through those doorways God is opening up ways of fellowship with His Son. Most of us collapse at the first grip of pain. We sit down at the door of God's purpose and enter a slow death through self-pity. And all the so-called Christian sympathy of others helps us to our deathbed. But God will not. He comes with the grip of the pierced hand of His Son, as if to say "Enter into fellowship with Me; arise and shine." If God can accomplish His purposes in this world through a broken heart, then why not thank Him for breaking yours?

I was wow-ed reading that.


Today was a very intense day. But intense good. Today made me realize, how much I need God's grace in my life. That I've been carried this far, that I've grown so much this year because of His grace. Today it returned, what I deem the Enemy's lies that seek to undermine all that has been rebuilt, restored and regenerated so far.

The fear, the fear of not being good enough, of not having what it takes. The Devil knows exactly where to hit me and for awhile, I bought it and let his lie penetrate my defences. Sometimes just like Peter, it can be easy to take our eyes off God and when we do, we just fall into the water until recently we have been walking on. As long as the devil manages to break that gaze that you have set on God, he has scored himself a little victory.

Thinking through, talking through, considering future plans and taking into consideration uncertainties aplenty, the conversations we had today served to remind me all the more, how much I need His grace on this. This is something I definitely cannot do with my own strength, there are some doors that cannot be opened by my own effort and this is definitely a future I cannot labour to build myself.

Today after being duped into looking away for a bit, I turned my gaze back towards God and He told me what He's been telling me since day one. That He knows the plans that He has for me. Good plans, not to destroy me, but to give me a hope and a future.


Your faithfulness endures always
Where mountains fall and reason fails
And You calm the raging seas
And You calm the storms in me, again

All I know is I find rest in You
All I know is I find rest in You

My heart will praise throughout the night
Where singing seems a sacrifice
Your grace is all I need
Your grace is all I need

Rest In You by Hillsong United

Wednesday, November 04, 2009

Stuff I'd Rather Write About

Today's, yesterday's and the day before yesterday's devotional.


Dragons (yesterday's dream)

How good god is.

Sigh, but work beckons.

I got an HD today for one of my marketing subjects and I'm on track for a HD for that subject. Strange how it didn't seem like a big deal to me. Prayer point number two on my list of "Mountains to move" is "Get the job". A HD won't help me there. I always always always have bigger fish to fry.

I started writing what I think is my best work yet yesterday. I proceeded to pat myself on the back and gush.


Listenin' to : The Build Up by Kings of Convenience